A PRESENT FOR SANTA CLAUS (1947). Children must go to bed on Christmas Eve, but they annoy their Mother one more time. Dick wants an airplane, electric train, skates, scooter, firetruck and machine gun, and Ann wants a doll, a baby buggy, doll house, tea set and they both want a puppy. Mom explains Santa is caught in the recession, about to go bankrupt and the North Pole is in foreclosure. She warns them that they’d be lucky to get a stick and a rock. The brats are told to shut the light out, but of course they turn it right back on when she leaves. On her way down the stairs, she gets prepared to nag at her husband for not being a real man. He wants to bitch-slap her but is too busy trying to setup a bush he hacked down from the dead neighbor’s yard. The kids are still whining about what they want, and they work up a plan to bribe the poor fat guy into feeling guilty if they don’t get what they want. They figure if they give Santa a present, he will feel like an ass if he doesn’t cave in. The whining escalates as they peruse their shared bedroom for toys they never took care of and try to find something that could pass as a gift. The ruckus alerts Mom that they are up to no good again, and she shuts them up making them hot chocolate, a shot of vodka and a dash of Clonazepam. That should do the trick. On their way off to la-la land, they say “We don’t want this crap, so we can leave it for Santa.” Not only do they get rid of it, they also leave their warm gift for Santa. So, with parents out of the living room, they trek downstairs with their hot cups of drugged mud and put it at the bottom of the fireplace for Santa to step in and break his neck. Santa arrives and can smell the drugged drink concoctions from the roof. Luckily he noticed the cups on his way down the chimney, took a sip and it appears to be the “best drink he ever tasted”. Drunk out of his mind, and hallucinating at the same time, he ends up giving the brats every friggin’ thing they asked for. Even the damn puppy! The poor pup is strangled in a stocking ready to fall off the mantle, but after the plethora of bad reaction acting, they “find” the stocking and suicide note from Santa. Puppy still alive, but not happy, and hoping to be brought back to the kennel. But at least Dickie has something to aim at with his new machine gun now! “A merry Christmas everyone everywhere”!