Author Archive: Retro

A blundering British spy falls into a web of love, danger, and Russian intrigue.

2025 A.D. A lone adventurer searches the post-nuclear wasteland for the most devastating, godless artifact in history. When he touches it, he is transported back in time to 1989 Los Angeles. Mortally wounded he requests a young couple to return the spear to its sheath and end its reign of evil.

A recovering substance-abusing country singer and his brother exact revenge on the singer’s manager, who has cheated him out of a substantial amount of cash throughout the years

When the spaceship Vertigo stops to explore a previously unknown planet, the crew finds an unrecognized dollop of protoplasm and takes it aboard ship to return it to earth for analysis. On board, lifeform expands into an oozing person-eating monster which communicates primarily by means of a Vegas lounge act. The crew is gobbled up one after another until the two surviving crewmembers come up with a plan.

No director has mixed graphic horror and explicit sex more often than Aristide Massaccesi (better known as Joe D’Amato), and no director has come up with worse results. This sleazy tale stars Luigi Montefiori as the captain of a boat hired to take an American architect (Mark Shanon) and a prostitute (Dirce Funari) to a cursed island so the architect can scout locations for hotel development. They come across a mysterious woman (Laura Gemser), cannibalistic zombie natives, and a ghost-cat. There is also a great deal of hardcore sex and a scene in which a stripper opens a champagne bottle with her private parts. Massaccesi made the similarly explicit Porno Holocaust, about a radioactive mutant, the same year.

A photographer and his model are on a photo shoot in a forest when they get the feeling they are being watched. The feeling becomes so strong that they decide to cut their session short and leave. Later, when they develop the photos they took, they discover what looks like alien creatures in the background.

Subtitled (German) A man resigns from his job to pursue a life-long dream of playing chess professionally.